


Shimmer

by cm (mumblemutter)



Category: Journey into Mystery, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Family, Alternate Universe - Porn Industry, Community: kink_bingo, Crossdressing, Incest, M/M, Pictures, References to Past Child Abuse, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:17:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is a fledgling porn star. Thor comes to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shimmer

** split-image. **  
(Rangefinder image, bisected so that the two halves of the image are aligned only when the correct object distance is set on the instrument or when the lens is correctly focused.)

He gets a call in the middle of the night. Thor's crying, barely coherent.

Loki says, "There's money in the safe. He never changes the combination."

"But he'll kill me."

"Not if you're not there. Take the bus. I'll wait for you."

He'll keep his other life and Thor separate, is what he tells himself.

-

Thor text messages him the entire way.

Loki only sends him two: Don't talk to strangers. I'm serious Thor, don't trust anyone.

Thor's always been too trusting, too beautiful to be this trusting. Bus stops and rest stops: kids disappear and are never seen from again.

Thor messages again when he's almost there, and still Loki breathes a sigh of relief when he spots his blonde head ambling down the bus.

There's a bruise on his right cheek and a cut on his lip. He hurtles into his arms and Loki hugs him tight, doesn't let go.

"Listen, my apartment's not much -"

"I don't care," Thor mumbles into Loki's neck. "You're there, it's cool."

"Come on, you hungry? I bet you're hungry. There's a fast food place around here."

Thor eats like he's not eaten in days, which is probably true.

"How much money did you take?"

"Enough for the bus fare," Thor says, faintly defensive.

Loki exhales.

"It's not like there was much to begin with."

"Surely there was enough that you could have taken food money."

Thor flushes, doesn't answer. He probably feels bad even about the money he did take, although if anyone deserved to be ripped off, it's Laufey.

Loki exhales again, let's it go. "Finish your fries," he says, and Thor smiles, like the first ray of the sun after a long, cold winter.

Thor says, "It's better than I thought it would be," when he enters Loki's apartment, and Loki has to laugh. He pulls Thor into another hug, ignores Thor's start of surprise. "You're being nice," he says. "It's weird."

"Shut up, freak."

The only place for Thor to sleep is on the floor. Loki pulls out a sleeping bag, tosses it at him. Thor looks vaguely unhappy, and now Loki remembers how he never quite threw off that entitled brat attitude of his. "You're not getting the bed," Loki says.

Thor hugs the sleeping bag to his chest, says, "Okay."

"Good."

"There's enough space for the two of us," Thor says, as he settles down on the floor next to Loki.

"Don't make me regret asking you to come." Thor tucks himself into the bag, blinks up at Loki. "Go to sleep, Thor. I have class tomorrow."

Loki switches off the light, plunges the room into darkness and resolutely presses his head against the pillow, squeezes his eyes shut. He's only just about to drift off when he hears Thor say, "Loki?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I'm here."

-

In the morning, Thor's hair is in wild disarray around his face, and the bruises look even worse, but he's beaming as he shakes Loki awake.

Loki puts his fingers to his face, feels the hot, swollen flesh underneath his skin. Thor flinches. "Son of a bitch," Loki says, under his breath.

"It's not so bad, really."

"Fuck you, you don't get to say that."

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry." Loki removes his hand. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast."

Thor didn't bring a lot of things. Loki unpacks his backpack, takes out rolled-up t-shirts, jeans, the second hand laptop that Loki bought for him. He pauses over the photo album, but doesn't open it in the end. There were no happier times for him to get nostalgic over: he would burn every childhood photo he had, given the chance. But Thor's not him. Thor clings.

"Give me your phone," Loki says. "We'll get you a new one."

"Do you think Dad will look for me?" Thor's eyes are wide.

"He won't come anywhere near you again. I'll kill him," Loki says, and means it. Laufey always had high hopes for Thor, after he realized Loki wouldn't play his games. Gifted athlete with a bright future, Laufey saw dollar signs every game Thor won. Thor's eyes grow even wider still. "Don't worry about it, that's all I'm saying."

"Okay," Thor says, uncertain.

Loki hands him the photo album. "I'm going to put your stuff away. You can't be the same slob you always are, you understand? I won't live in a pigsty."

Thor looks offended, then grins. "Don't be such a neat freak, jesus."

"Cleanliness is next to godliness," Loki says. "Or some such bullshit."

-

It takes two weeks before Thor stops jumping at every sound, even longer before he stops waking up in the middle of the night, sweaty and disoriented and disturbing Loki's sleep. It should have gotten better, after Loki left, not worse.

Laufey loved Thor more, for his potential if nothing else. But maybe that's just what Loki's told himself, so that he could even go. The day he left, Thor's face was pale, tear streaked, and he wouldn't even look at Loki. "You graduate in like three years," Loki said. Then you can get out of this hell too, he didn't say.

Turns out, three years alone with Laufey was too much for even Thor to stand.

Loki says, before he leaves Thor alone in the apartment for the first time to go to class, "You can eat whatever you want, but don't touch my stuff." His laptop's with him, and that's mostly where all the stuff is, but just in case.

The lecture is boring, so he uses it to tweet, upload photos, the usual. He can't do most of the stuff at home anymore, not if Thor's going to be around.

-

Loki enrolls Thor in classes at the nearby school. "What are you, a sophomore now?" Thor shrugs, scowls. He never did like going to school. Loki gives him fake transcripts, his real name. A fake nuclear family that no-one at the school will ever see. "You start on Monday," Loki says. "I'll give you an allowance, you can buy stationery and stuff."

"Great," Thor says. "I should have just stayed with Dad."

"Then maybe you should go back. I can get you a bus ticket."

Thor blanches.

"I didn't mean that." Loki pauses. "But you need to go to school. Make friends, be a fifteen year old. No brother of mine will be a high-school drop out."

"You sound like Dad," Thor says, but he smiles, crooked. "No son of mine will be a failure."

"If I were Laufey, we wouldn't be arguing over whether you went to school or not."

"I'll go. I can pretend, it's cool."

Within a week of starting school, kids start messaging Thor on his new phone. Loki picks it up once when Thor leaves it on the kitchen table, scrolls through invitations to hang out, watch a movie, go to a party, study together. Thor wanders in, opens the fridge door without glancing at Loki.

"How come you're always home when I get back?"

"Hm?"

Loki waves the phone at him. "You should go out. Some of these girls sound like they're pretty. Charmaine is probably pretty."

Thor brings out a carton of milk, takes a swig before Loki can tell him to get a glass. "They're just kids."

"And you're not?"

Thor shrugs.

Loki texts a reply to one of the messages. "There, you're going on a study date in the library with Charmaine." He tosses the phone at Thor. "Don't be late, you don't want to keep her waiting."

Thor goes, but not before shooting Loki an annoyed look. "She's not even that hot," he mutters, under his breath, as he's slamming out the front door.

Loki has to laugh.

Thor being gone means he can do his usual stuff. Take his photos, put them online. He's not really feeling it, but he doesn't have that much time alone, and so he does it anyway.

He's done, and almost asleep, by the time Thor returns, making a racket as always. "How was the date," Loki calls out.

"Not a date. And it was all right." He plops himself down on the sleeping bag on the floor, and Loki can see faint traces of lipstick on his neck. "She's nice, but I don't think I'll go out with her again."

"Okay," Loki says. "Go to sleep."

"I think -" Thor says. He pauses for the longest time, while Loki waits. "They don't understand. Everyone's always so happy. I can't -"

"They all have their own shit to deal with, Thor. You're not the only one. But you don't have to go out with her again it you don't want to." Something unclenches, low in his belly, as he tells Thor this. "Go to bed."

"All right. Goodnight, Loki."

"Goodnight."

-

The first shoot he gets after Thor moves in is with Roxxy.

It's a good shoot, but when she has his cock between her tits and she's squeezing, he pictures Thor's face for just a second, and he comes hard, spurting all over her chest and his own stomach.

"It's okay," he says, faintly embarrassed as he sits up on the table. "I can go again."

Roxxy wipes at her chest with her long, manicured fingers. "I know you can, sweetie." He manages to get it up again before Roxxy slides her cock in, spends the next half hour getting fucked senseless. They'd agreed earlier she could come in his mouth, and when he gets onto his knees she pats him on the head and says, "You're such a good boy, you are."

She hugs him after the post-scene interview, says, "You need to unwind some, sweetie. You're too young for that frowny face."

"My brother's staying with me," Loki says. "He's a pain."

"Family," Roxxy commiserates. "They're the worst. But you can't run away from blood, can you?"

When he comes home, he's swaying on his feet. Everything hurts, but in a good way. Thor's in the armchair, dozing. He jerks awake when Loki puts his backpack on the coffee table, wipes his face. "Where you been?"

"Class."

"It's after midnight."

"Party. The college experience is very educational."

Thor says, "You look tired."

"That's because I am tired." Loki pulls off his hoodie as he walks into the bedroom, ignores Thor. He collapses onto the bed and falls asleep, doesn't wake up until past noon.

-

Thor's made coffee, and breakfast, when Loki finally stumbles into the living room. "Don't you have school," Loki asks, stretching his aching muscles.

"Not missing much." He pushes a cup of coffee at Loki.

Loki collapses into a seat, curls around the cup. "Okay, you don't have to go today. You want to do something?"

"Well," Thor says. "We're in L.A. and I haven't seen the ocean yet."

Thor spends the entire day running around on the beach, splashing in the water and screaming his head off. The sun is Loki's greatest enemy, so he mostly huddles under his hoodie and giant sunglasses and doesn't allow Thor to infect him with his joyous rampage.

The sunglasses also mean he can watch Thor while pretending not to.

He watches, and tries to untangle the knots in his stomach.

On the bus ride back, Thor falls asleep on his shoulder. He smells like sun lotion and salt, and Loki can't bring himself to push him away.

  

** incident light. **  
(Light falling on a surface as opposed to the light reflected by it.)

There's late tryouts for the baseball team, and Thor wants to go. He hems and haws about it, blurts out in the end, "But what about Dad?"

"Laufey's always known where you are."

"But you told me to burn my card."

Loki sighs. "Only so he couldn't call and guilt you into coming back. Go try out. I'll deal with him if he shows up."

Loki has a gun with a bullet in it, hidden under the floorboards. He's ready.

Thor messages him while Loki's dozing through a molecular biology class. "Made the team!"

"Obviously," Loki messages back.

"Meet later?"

He meets Thor at a cafe on campus for a late lunch, and Thor's beaming and chatty, his eyes bright and hair a golden mess around his head. The waitress flirts with him as she takes his order, tells Loki, "Your brother's as cute as you are, Loki. Better tempered, too."

Loki waves her away. "Go earn your minimum wage, shoo."

She shares a look with Thor before swanning off. "You should be more polite to people," Thor says.

Loki rolls his eyes. "Finish your food, come on."

"You'll come to my games right," Thor asks, suddenly uncertain.

"Yeah, sure."

-

Amora shows up, despite Loki's explicit instructions that she's not to drop by when he's not there. He finds her on the couch, leering at an uncomfortable looking Thor.

"Amora," Loki says.

"Loki," Amora says. "Thor and I were just having the most interesting conversation about cock piercings." Thor gives Loki the most pathetic gaze imaginable.

"He's fifteen, Amora. Down." Amora only seems more interested. She will eat Thor alive, spit out the pieces and then use his bones to pick her teeth.

"I'm your best friend. You should share your toys with me."

"I'm not a toy," Thor says.

Loki points at him. "Jailbait."

Amora laughs and claps her hands in glee. "I'm taking you boys to dinner, come on. You both look starved."

Amora brings them to a restaurant on the strip, gets a table despite having no reservations. She likes to tell Loki she's a princess from some European nation, and mostly Loki thinks she's as full of shit as he is, but sometimes she can pull it off with some kind of believability.

Thor starts to relax after the first course, and naturally he flirts. Loki thinks he doesn't notice what he's doing, it's just the way he is. Around girls, around boys.

"Stop it," Loki says, when Amora leaves to go to the bathroom.

"Stop what?" Thor takes another piece of bread from the basket. "These are fantastic," he says. "But I don't think we can pay for any of this."

"Amora pays, please. And stop it with Amora. She's a ball breaker." Thor perks up slightly. "No, I'm serious."

"You guys into each other or something?"

"No. Definitely not." Other than Amora masturbating to his scenes, and one ill-advised alcohol-driven night.

"I know," Thor says finally, giving him a broad smile. "Don't worry, I can take care of myself."

On the way home in Amora's stupidly ostentatious car, Thor half asleep in the backseat, Amora leans over and whispers to him, "So he know about your budding porn career?"

"No and if you tell him I will end you."

"Do I get to fuck him in exchange for my silence?"

"No."

"Worth a try," Amora says. She switches on the radio, and Thor jerks awake.

He's disoriented, terrified, until Loki reaches back, touches his knee. Then he smiles. "Hey, we home yet?"

"Almost there."

-

Thor picks up one of Loki's books the next day, peers at it. "What is this? It's gibberish."

"It's what makes the world run."

"Food?"

"It's a bubble sort algorithm for - you know what, nevermind." He pulls the book out of Thor's hands.

"Nerd," Thor says.

"When I make my first million on the new Google I'll hire you as a mascot."

Thor is unimpressed by Loki's plans for world domination. Instead he crosses his elbows on the table and puts his head on his forearms, gives Loki a mournful look. "I'm bored."

"Do your homework. I have a program to write."

"I don't have any homework."

"What kind of school doesn't give homework? Do I need to have a word with your principal?" Thor continues to look pitiful. Loki gives up. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

There's a carnival nearby, Thor tells him as he waves the flyer excitedly in front of Loki's face.

"Aren't we a little old for the carnival?"

"Aren't you a little old for bubbles?"

"That's not what it - nevermind."

They go in the late afternoon, when it's not too hot. Loki tells Thor, "Don't eat too much cotton candy," but Thor never listens, and so his hands are sticky and his lips pink stained by the time night falls.

"Remember when Mom used to bring us," Thor says.

"No."

"I do. I would always love to ride on the merry go round, but you were afraid of it."

"I remember you'd eat too much cotton candy and then feel ill. You threw up on my shoes once."

Thor grins. "I did." His grin fades away. "They were new shoes, and Dad wasn't happy when we went home."

"Hey," Loki says, tilting his head. "You still have good aim?"

Thor wins a giant blue stuffed bunny, all floppy ears and fluffed up tail. He hugs it to his chest as they walk, and Loki says, "This monstrosity isn't allowed in our home."

But Thor ignores him, as Loki knows he will. "Let's go into the tunnel," he says instead.

"You'll get nightmares."

"I'm not five anymore. Besides, it's just fake skeletons and stuff. And I have Blueberry to protect me."

"Oh so now you've named your stuffed animal? Are you sure you're not five?"

The smile Thor gives him is slow, and oddly sweet.

In the rickety boat that's seen far better days, Thor sits far too close to him, presses their knees together. His head lands on Loki's shoulder at one point, and Loki says, "Are you sleeping through the Chamber of Horrors?" Thor laughs, and shoves Blueberry at him. Loki splutters on a mouthful of soft felt.

Blueberry is given away as they're leaving, to a little girl who is smaller than it is. She hugs it tightly to her, and her mother says, "Say thank you to the nice young man, sweetie."

"Thank you, mister," she whispers.

"She's magic. She'll keep you safe," Thor says, crouching down so they're face to face.

Loki says, "Come on, Thor. We have to go or we'll miss the last bus home."

He takes out his phone, ends up snapping a picture of Thor as he gives the bunny one final pat on the head goodbye.

-

It takes about a month for Loki to get so used to Thor being around that he leaves his laptop out, unlocked, to go to the bathroom. When he emerges, Thor's sitting at Loki's desk, staring at - Loki walks over, snaps the laptop shut. "Who's Luke Matthews? That's you, that's you. I saw pictures, I -"

"I told you to stay out of my stuff."

"I was just looking for - is that why you have all that stuff in that shoebox in the closet?"

"I told you to stay out of my stuff," Loki repeats. "Why don't you ever listen."

It's just a job. It pays the bills, he doesn't hate it, it's better than working as a waiter for tips. It's not anything he's ashamed of, or has reservations over. Still, he can't help the flush that comes over his cheeks when Thor says, as if he's never seen anything so curious, "You're a porn star."

"Shut the fuck up," Loki says. "And mind your own business."

He'd just fallen into it, that's all. Some freshman party, some guy leaning over him going, "Dude, you have a really good face, like."

"I have no interest in fucking you," Loki said.

But the guy just handed him a card, said, "Call me, okay?"

Loki was lucky: you usually had to work harder than that to get a foot in the industry.

But he had a bankable face, or so he was told. It helped.

-

Thor hovers around him, the next few days. Steals glances when he thinks Loki's not looking. "Enough," Loki finally snaps. "Ask what you want to ask."

"Just - why?"

"Well, do you think that cereal you're currently shoving into your face fell out of the sky?"

Thor glances down at his bowl with some guilt. "Sorry, I guess I keep eating your stuff."

"It's not about that - I don't care what you eat."

The first few weeks, Thor would take small portions and gobble the food down, sit there looking hungry while Loki picked at his own plate. It took a while, and Loki overloading his plate with food, for him to become the food disposal unit he naturally was.

"But you don't have the right to judge the way I make a living."

"I'm not judging," Thor says.

"You sound judgy." Thor merely scowls in response. "I'm just trying to make ends meet."

"You never even touch me and yet you'll fuck some stranger on camera for the entire world to see."

"The pervert corner of the internet is hardly the world."

"Fuck you."

"Don't swear. Also, you're my brother - why are we having this conversation?"

"Because you fuck people for money?"

"No, that's prostitution. I'm a porn star."

"Ugh," Thor says. He picks up his bowl and stomps off to the bedroom, slams the door behind him.

Loki winces as it rattles on its hinges, calls out, "It's my business, not yours. Stay out of my life."

The door opens to a glaring, furious face. "Gladly." He slams the door shut again, with finality this time.

"And what did I tell you about bringing food into the bedroom!"

The bowl of cereal remains in the room.

Loki goes for a walk.

Loki goes for a walk, instead of pointing out, quite rightly, that Thor's living under his roof and off of his ill-gotten gains, so maybe he should tone it down a little with the moral outrage.

By the time he returns, it's night and he's worked himself into a proper snit. Thor only looks relieved to see him though, and rushes forward.

"What," Loki snaps.

"I -" Thor begins. "I'm sorry. I know you're only doing what you have to."

Loki wants to snarl at him, say something that will make Thor feel as bad as he does, but the expression on Thor's face is so hopeful, so regretful. "It's all right," he says in the end. "Whatever."

In bed, Thor asks him, "What's it like?"

"Pretty cool. You get paid to fuck. Better than the other way around."

"But you don't like - you were never into anyone in school."

"It's different," Loki says. In school, all the girls were throwing admiring glances at Thor, who at fourteen was already almost as tall as Loki was, and charming and athletic. Everybody loved him. Everybody wanted him.

And Loki, he just stood on the sidelines and watched.

"Maybe I can do it too. School sucks."

"You're too young. And you're not dropping out of school," he says, swallowing the lump in his throat and shifting on the bed so he can peer down at Thor, tucked in the bag like a snail with only his head poking out.

Thor yawns. "School's boring."

"But you like baseball. How else are you going to get any scout to notice you if you're not even in school."

"You're just changing the subject because you don't wanna talk to me."

"I'm changing the subject because it's none of your business, and because I need you to stay in school. You're not going to mooch off me forever or end up working minimum wage at Walmart."

"I could do what you do," Thor repeats.

"Do I look as if I'm rolling in cash?"

"Only because you're a tightwad like Dad. You probably have money hidden in a safe as well."

Loki picks his pillow up, hits Thor over the head with it. "Go to sleep, freak."

It's not that Thor's wrong exactly: Loki's squirreled away whatever money he can save, here and there. It's not exactly a safe, but sometimes he thinks maybe he is like Laufey, after all. Just rotten to the core and irredeemable.

Not at all like Thor.

"Goodnight, big bro," Thor says, his voice sleepy, distant.

"Goodnight."

Loki doesn't sleep, just watches Thor until his breathing evens out. Thor still sleeps like a kid sometimes: after a while his fist emerges from the confines of the bag and he presses it against his mouth.

-

Loki comes back to the apartment after classes, and hears moaning. He thinks either Thor's watching porn or has a girl over, but then he hears his own voice. Thor sits up, flushes guiltily, but then he turns his attention back to the screen and slumps back down onto the couch, a defiant expression on his face.

Loki stands in front of the laptop screen, blocks Thor's view. "You're in my way," Thor says.

Loki's not looking at Thor's cock, not looking at Thor sliding his hand up and down it slowly, leisurely. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You little brat."

"Not so little, I don't think." But Thor can't hold on to the bravado, he bites his lip a moment later and stops, pulls his t-shirt down past his hips. "I just wanted to see," he says.

"You can't jerk off to my shit, Thor. You shouldn't even be watching it, you're not old enough. You're my brother."

Thor merely shrugs.

Loki closes the laptop, says, "Come on, I'm too lazy to make anything, let's just go out somewhere for dinner."

Over McDonald's, Thor says while he's finishing Loki's burger, "You're really good. But I didn't like the guy."

"You watched the wrong one. I've had better shoots since then." A hundred bucks and an old dude that smelt like camphor balls: it wasn't his proudest moment.

"You wanna recommend some?"

"No. I don't want you near this stuff at all."

Thor shakes his head and picks up a fry, and Loki knows he's not listening at all.

"Luke's a good name," he says later, as Loki's drifting off to sleep. He sits up, forces Loki to open his eyes, and Loki can see his row of sharp teeth, gleaming as he smiles. "What do you think my porn name should be?"

"Arthur," Loki says immediately. "See? Ar-"

"I get it. Clever." He pauses, and Loki fights the urge to reach out, smooth back the wild strands of his hair. He's never wanted to touch anyone before, not even to just hold their hand.

"What," he says. "I have to sleep, classes tomorrow."

"You're hot, is what I wanted to say." He leans forward, too fast for Loki to react, presses his mouth to Loki's. Only for a moment, and then he's gone, sliding back down onto the floor with a thump.

Loki doesn't sleep, the entire night.

  

** aberration. **  
(Failing in the ability of a lens to produce a true image.)

Rod comes over, and Thor must recognize him from a shoot or something. It explains the tense shoulders and the scowl. He's still more friendly than Loki on most days though, and after he escapes to the bedroom Rod stares at the closed door for a while.

"He's fifteen," Loki says.

"Really? Looks the same age as you. Older, even. Shame, that."

Loki frowns. He will never be for you, he wants to say. But he doesn't.

Rod's cool enough, and Loki likes him well enough. "So there's a shoot on Thursday, we had a twink but he dropped out. Fell down a flight of stairs or something. I told them you're great, got a tight little ass. What do you say?"

"Sure," Loki says.

"Try to look happier, dude. It's a good gig, pays well. Future prospects as well." He holds up his hands in mock defeat. "I promise I won't fuck your baby brother, okay?"

"I thought you weren't much into twinks" Loki mutters.

"Mostly. Depends on the boy. Your brother looks like -" He stops at Loki's look, grins easily. "Worth the jail time."

"Fuck you, man."

Thor comes out after Rod has left, says, "You going to do another shoot with him? Can I come?"

"No," Loki says. "You can't."

-

The first baseball game Loki goes to - is forced to go to, after the incredible fit Thor throws when Loki dares to insinuate he might be busy that day - starts off well enough.

Thor's a gifted athlete, and it only takes a short while before the air changes, turns electric and charged. He turns to Loki at one point, lifts his cap off his head and waves. Loki barely refrains from rolling his eyes, ends up giving him a thumbs up of support. Thor remains oblivious to Loki's disdain for the sport, and beams in return.

It all goes swimmingly until the bottom of the fifth inning. Loki's unsure as to what exactly happens, but he hears shouting soon enough, picks out Thor's distinct agitated voice. It's generally a bad idea to get involved in one of Thor's regular encounters with violence, but Loki does it anyway. It's gone to hell in any case, by the time he reaches the field. A furious Thor is an unstoppable force of nature, if left unchecked.

Loki finds him in the crowd, tugs on the back of his jersey. Thor whirls with one fist raised, but halts when he sees Loki.

"Stop," Loki says.

"But he hit me -"

"Stop. I don't care. Calm the fuck down."

"Don't speak to me like that." His face is red, but his voice is oddly calm.

Loki lowers his voice, says, "We can't afford to make a scene, Thor. You can't get into trouble." The guardians on Thor's records are fake. Loki imagines calling in a favor, asking some porn star to pretend to be Thor's dad or mom for the day. They are hardly great actors on the best of days.

"It wasn't my fault," Thor says, but he's simmered down some, and just like that, the tension eases, and the brawl starts breaking up.

"I know it wasn't," Loki says, even though it probably was.

Thor is benched, and Loki is ordered back to the bleachers by an ungrateful, red-faced umpire to wait out the rest of the game.

Their team loses, without Thor, and so Loki has to put up with him sulking the entire bus ride home.

Halfway there, Thor says, without glancing at Loki, "Do you think I'm like him? Sometimes I get so mad - it's like I can't see."

"Don't be stupid."

Loki doesn't like to think about which one of them takes after Laufey most. But it's definitely not Thor.

-

Thor insists on following Loki to his next shoot, as soon as he finds out that there is a next shoot. "No," Loki says at first, but is ignored. "The sets are closed. And you're underaged, they'll kick you out."

Besides, it's bad enough Thor's seen the videos. How much worse will live be?

"I look older than you do. And Rod says he won't tell anyone."

"Rod? You're friends now?"

"I got his number from your phone. He kinda wants to fuck me, it's cool. He won't tell anyone."

Everybody kind of wants to fuck Thor. Loki just never imagined that Thor would be aware of this.

He turns his head to hide the flush creeping across his skin. "Okay, you can come. But stay out of the way, and don't talk to anyone."

It's usually easy, these shoots. Especially with Rod. Loki goes to a place no-one can touch, where he can control every move, every expression. He's good at what he does.

Except Thor, as usual, ruins everything.

He sits in the corner, outside of the frame but close enough that Loki can see him, his expression serene, almost bored. Rod keeps throwing glances at him before the scene starts and someone, Loki doesn't know who, passes him a drink and shoos him out. "You know you're not going to fuck him, right," Loki tells Rod.

"I know. I just like to look." The prep takes forever, then the pre-shoot interview, and Loki can't focus, can't do anything except think of Thor.

Today he's a rich kid and Rod's his private tutor. Loki brings his own school uniform, and Rod grins. "I always love your attention to detail, Luke." Loki tugs on the tie and fidgets, tries to remember his inconsequential and insipid lines.

Yes he's a bad kid that needs some spanking, some parental guidance, and maybe a huge cock inside him.

"4.0 GPA," Loki says at one point, utterly truthful. "It's not hard."

"Not yet, anyway," Rod grins.

He whispers in his ear, halfway through, "Hey man, you need a break? You seem a little tense."

"I'm fine," Loki says through grit teeth. He's not. He's naked and has a cock up his ass and his brother's nearby, probably flirting with some fluffer or something. He is the definition of not okay.

He palms his own cock, but gives up on getting hard any time soon. It will have to come later, when he can focus on -

Thor's stupid face in the morning, blinking sleepily up at him.

"There we go," Rod says, and grins. "Good boy."

After the shoot, Loki takes a shower and bundles himself in a bathrobe, curls up somewhere quiet. Thor slinks over, takes a seat next to him. "Go away," Loki says. "I need to be alone."

But Thor doesn't move. Instead he slides closer to Loki, twines their fingers together. "The uniform's super hot," he says. "Did it go well?"

"No, it was terrible. You ruined it."

"Oh," Thor says. "Sorry." Loki squeezes his hand when he starts to pull away, and he stills. "You smell nice."

"It's industrial strength soap. Made out of chemicals and cheap fragrance. Probably causes cancer."

Thor leans in, nudges his forehead against Loki's cheek. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," Loki says, and swallows. "I'm just tired."

"Let's go home, okay?"

"Okay."

-

"I googled Luke Matthews," Thor tells him two days later. "I found your Twitter photos."

"What about them," Loki asks, wary.

"No, I just think maybe you can take better pictures if you're not using a timer."

"Go away, Thor."

He told himself he'd keep his other life separate. He really should have known better.

-

It only takes a week before Thor wears him down. His brother has always been incessantly demanding, and in possession of the most irritating doggedness.

"All right, fine," Loki says. "Fine."

He wears most of his clothes, stretches out on the bed. Thor laughs, says, "I don't think your followers are going to be into that."

"I'm not taking my cock out in front of you."

"I've seen it before," Thor says, a little too smugly.

He tosses Loki his green and white briefs, and Thor's own baseball socks. Loki undresses slowly, avoids Thor's gaze for as long as he can. When he's finally done Thor's just staring at him. "Your legs are all smooth," he says, and there's a distant kind of wonder in his voice.

Loki flushes, growls, "Just take the pictures."

"I have been, see?"

"Oh." He stretches back out on the bed, allows Thor to wander nearer, holding the phone out in front of him.

"You should get a real camera."

"I can't afford a real camera."

He slides into the shoot after a while, forgets everything except Thor's voice as he orders him around. Move here. Bend your leg like this. Arch your back. Loki wants to ask: why do you think you know what you're doing, you're fifteen, but then Thor says, "Slide your hand into your briefs," and he completely and utterly forgets.

Thor's kneeling on the bed, phone in his hands, but he's watching Loki, not the screen. "I can't," Loki says, chokes on the words even as he does as he's told. His cock is so hard: he hasn't even noticed.

There's too much heat, too much friction, and Loki almost sobs, but Thor disappears and reappears again with a bottle of Loki's lube. He hands it to Loki wordlessly, goes back to kneeling at the bottom of the bed. This time he remembers, and takes a picture.

Loki can't breathe. His hands are shaking and he can't breathe, and he almost spills the lube everywhere as he smears it on his hand, on his cock. Thor's still not saying anything, not even when Loki pulls the briefs down slightly past his hips so it's easier to touch his cock. He has to close his eyes when he starts jerking himself off, real slow, but it doesn't matter. All he sees is Thor. All he's ever seen is Thor.

It doesn't take him long to come, he snaps his hips upwards once, twice, the third time and he's losing it, a hot and sticky streak against his belly.

When he opens his eyes again, Thor's open-mouthed and red-cheeked. He reaches forward and touches Loki's chest, trails his fingers into the mess. "Don't," Loki says, too late. Thor puts his hand to his mouth, pink tongue flickering out to taste.

He darts forward again, but this time Loki catches his wrist, stops him. Thor blinks, looks surprised. "Enough," Loki says. "I think that's enough for today."

Thor only exhales, so very sweetly, and says, "Can I kiss you? Okay? Luke."

Loki shakes his head. "I'm Loki, just Loki." He draws Thor down towards him, helpless to say no. Kisses him, and a moment later, the world's still spinning, and nothing at all has changed. So Loki does it again, and again.

By the time Thor pulls away to throw off his t-shirt and shimmy out of his jeans Loki's hard again. He can look, finally, but he doesn't touch Thor's cock at first. Instead he trails his fingers across his body, mapping every place, committing it to memory: here, and here, and here.

Thor buries his face in Loki's throat when Loki's hand wanders finally to his cock, fingers wrapped around it. "I've never -"

"I know, shh. Thor."

Thor comes in hardly any time, curls up into Loki with a sharp keen and a gasp of Loki's name. "I love you," he says. "Loki, I love you."

"Yeah," Loki says, and kisses his flushed cheeks, his forehead, his mouth. "Yeah."

-

Thor helps him upload the photos, the next morning. "What, are you my agent now?"

"I dunno, maybe."

"Don't post anything, your spelling's atrocious."

"I know how to spell cock."

Loki drives him away, reclaims his throne. "Make yourself useful. Coffee or something."

Thor fusses about in the kitchenette way too long, but returns with a cup of coffee, puts it meekly down on the table. Says, after a long moment, "It's different, right? With me."

Loki stills, wants to snap and snarl and run away. Only ends up saying, in the end, "It's you." It's enough. "How come you've never - surely there were girls?"

"Ah," Thor says. "I didn't want them to see all the -" He shuffles his feet.

"Come here," Loki says. Thor bends down at the waist, his face an inch away from Loki's. Loki pushes him back against the table, slides from the chair onto his knees.

He unbuttons Thor's jeans slowly, pulls them and his boxers down past his hips. Thor starts, grips the table for support, and Loki presses his lips to his thigh, kisses him until Thor settles down. He smells clean, pure, and Loki wants him, wants - he pulls away, glances up. "You okay?" Thor nods his head, squeezes his eyes shut.

Thor's skin is so hot, Loki feels as if he's on fire, as if he's burning up, just from being so near. Thor gasps, rocks his hips up into Loki. His hands come up to Loki's face, and Loki grabs his wrists, holds them still.

"Loki," Thor says, choked. Loki turns his head, licks a stripe up his cock until he reaches the tip, then pulls back. He keeps the head of Thor's cock in his mouth, swirls his tongue around it, and Thor's knees actually buckle - he slides down and then drags himself up again, laughing lightly, grabbing the scruff of Loki's t-shirt to lift him up. He kisses Loki messily, gloriously, slides his tongue into Loki's mouth.

Loki keeps kissing him until he can't take it anymore, then sinks back down onto his knees, jerks Thor off until he comes, hot on Loki's face and open mouth.

  

** exposure. **  
(The quantity of light allowed to act on a photographic material; a product of the intensity and the duration of light striking the film or paper.)

Loki has an unsorted box of underthings, stuff he rarely uses. He comes out of the shower to find Thor holding on to a pair of white lace boyshorts. "Cute," he says.

"It's about your size, you want to try it on?" Loki leans against the doorway, smirks a little.

"Sure, okay."

Loki blinks. That's not the answer he was expecting.

"You don't have to -" he begins, but Thor's already on his feet, dragging his jeans down past his hips.

He kicks them away and sits back down on the bed again, slides one foot and then the other into the shorts. He slides it past his hips, and they were always slightly too loose on Loki, but they fit Thor perfectly.

"Socks," Thor says.

Loki clears his throat. "No, ah. I have stockings. I never wear them. Hang on." He goes to his chest of drawers and retrieves them: they were a gift, given after his first shoot, by the guy that approached him in that club, wrapped in a pale pink box with a white bow.

Loki never wore them, only ever wondered, of all the pretty twinks in that place on that night, why him? Desperation, voyeurism or attention-seeking, it was probably one of the three.

Maybe all three.

The stockings are of the palest peach silk, bordered by white lace and gartered. Loki kneels down at Thor's feet and slides the garter belt up first. Thor lifts his hips so they can settle around his waist. "You just have these lying around, huh."

"You should see what else I have." He kisses Thor's knee, lightly scraped from some sports related thing or another, gathers the stockings up and slips one, and then the other, up Thor's legs. Thor helps him fasten the suspenders, or tries to, he's not much help.

"You want to take a picture?"

"Yeah," Loki says. "Maybe."

Thor passes him a polaroid camera, not the phone. It's bright red and brand new. Loki turns it over in his hands. "Where did you get this?"

"Some girl, ah. I don't know, she said I should have it."

Loki snaps a picture of Thor leaning back, balancing on his elbows. The photo develops somewhat blurry - Thor could be a girl, a beautiful, blushing princess caught unawares. Loki passes it to Thor. "You can give this to her, so she gets her money's worth."

Thor laughs and shakes his head.

Loki takes a few more pictures, lays them out neatly to develop. Thor says, "Enough pictures," and Loki puts the camera away and kneels back down in front of Thor, presses his face into his belly.

Thor's arm comes up to cradle the back of his neck. Loki pushes him down, arranges him on the bed before crawling on top of him, trapping him between his knees. He's still slightly damp from the shower, and the water darkens the white on Thor's shorts.

"I want -" Thor says. Loki nods his head.

Yes, anything. Anything at all.

There's lube somewhere, the last place they left it. Loki grabs it, returns to tug down the front of the shorts. Thor shimmies as Loki jerks him off, then blows him until he's hard and his cock is wet with spit and pre-come. It's probably not enough though, so he coats it with lube as well. "Loki," Thor says, and he sounds uncertain.

Loki bends down to kiss him, whispers against his mouth, "Nothing you don't want, okay?" Thor nods his head jerkily.

It's easy, he's done it many times before. But never with Thor, so it's not. He preps himself, slides down on Thor in one smooth move. Thor's eyes flutter closed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

He doesn't sound okay, but he reaches his hands out, and Loki gives him his wrists.

He rides Thor for the longest time, or at least that's what it seems like. Thor comes unexpectedly, thrusts up off the bed and groans, almost throwing Loki off. Loki laughs, and collapses down on top of him, kisses him breathlessly when he turns his head for it.

"We made a mess," Thor says, after a while.

"You wanna shower?"

"We can do it together. Save water."

"Yeah, that's why," Loki says. He drags himself to his feet, but takes a few more pictures before he lets Thor get up. He wants to remember this. Want to remember Thor looking like this.

They kiss for the longest time, under the shower, until the hot water runs out and Thor starts yelping about the cold. "Don't be a baby," Loki says. "Turn around."

Thor turns, bends his head obediently. It used to be easier, washing Thor's hair, he'd be far shorter. "Why are you so tall now," Loki mutters. Thor turns to flash him a wet grin. "Stay still, or you'll get shampoo in your eyes, you know how you whine whenever that happens."

"I never whine," Thor says. "It's not whining if you're that charming."

"Shut up."

"Why do you have your own place," Thor says, when Loki's drying his hair with a towel. "I thought you'd stay in a dorm room."

"If I did you'd be homeless." He shrugs. "I like my privacy."

"Uh-huh."

"I had a roommate, he was another twink, this is his place. His boyfriend's some Arab sheik, and at some point he left to go with him, but the apartment's paid up to the end of next year." He makes Thor sit, blowdries his hair until the tangles are all smoothed out and it falls in waves down Thor's back. "You could be in a shampoo commercial. Braid or ponytail?"

"Whatever. Is any of that true at all?"

"No. Braids, then."

"No braids."

"Okay." He leaves Thor's hair loose, in the end. Thinks to ask, "Don't they ask you to cut it, in school?"

Thor merely shrugs. "No-one has so far. The teachers are nice."

To you, Loki doesn't say. Everyone's always nice to Thor. Except for Laufey, which more than evened out in the end.

-

Rod drops by, and it occurs to Loki that he has seen Rod more this month than he has in the entire six months prior, and it's most likely due to Thor. But Loki kind of needs the guy's connections, and Rod's an okay kind of guy, so he sighs, and waves him in the direction of the couch.

"I really want to fuck your brother, dude," is the first thing Rod says, once most of the pleasantries are out of the way. Thor had wandered into the living room in nothing but low-riding jeans at one point, waved at Rod and then gone right back into the bedroom without a word, leaving Rod open-mouthed and panting. "Like. Seriously want to. I'm hard right now. Give me a beer so I can tolerate this immense sexual frustration."

"You know he can hear you, right?"

"I know." Rod raises his voice. "Thor, tell me you're eighteen and I'll believe it. Come sit on my cock."

Thor pokes his head out of the bedroom door and shakes his head no, and closes the door again.

"I have a huge cock, I'm just saying -" He turns to Loki. "You've had it. Your brother should be so lucky."

Loki laughs, and keeps on laughing. He's on his third beer, and almost everything's funny.

"Not interested in your cock, dude," Thor calls out, from the safety of the bedroom.

"Dude," Rod says. "I'm game if you are. I can switch. I'm a great bottom too. Ask anyone. Ask your - okay not your brother. Other people."

"Hey," Loki says in protest, but softly, because he's drunk and warm and also happy and it's not untrue.

The door opens. Thor leans against the doorframe and says, "You'd let me fuck you?" There's a lazy, dangerous smile on his face that Loki's never seen before.

Loki waves his bottle of beer around. "No-one here's going to fuck anyone. Especially not fifteen year old someones. Go back into your room, Thor. And you, Rod: Not my brother."

Rod only laughs, and slaps Loki on the knee.

Thor disappears from view, and reappears with something in his hand that Loki doesn't recognize until after he's passed it to Rod's eager hands. "The lipstick stain's mine," he says, as Rod stares at the polaroid for a moment, and then up at Thor.

"Dude," Rod says. "I officially like your brother more than I like you. Why don't you ever give me pictures of yourself half naked?"

Loki says, a little plaintively, "I let you fuck me, isn't that enough?"

Rod shrugs. "Eh, maybe."

They end up getting drunk and watching old movies on Loki's laptop until late into the evening, and Loki even allows Thor to drink from his bottle of beer.

Thor sits too close to Loki, curled up next to him on the couch, and if Rod notices he doesn't say anything, he just flashes his smile at them both and good-naturedly suggests a threesome, laughs hard when Loki gives him the finger.

"You shouldn't have given him that picture," Loki says, when Rod finally leaves.

Thor kisses him on the cheek, says, "It was just me in jeans. The other stuff's just for you."

-

Thor invites Roxxy over the next week, and Loki says, "You can't just invite everyone I do a shoot with to drop by for milk and cookies. We're not friends, we're business associates. Wait - how do you even know her?"

"Uh," Thor says. "I watched your scene together, and then I found her Twitter and sent her a message? It's not like it's hard to find any of you guys. She seems cool. I don't see what's your problem."

Thor never sees any problem with socializing, with making friends with total strangers. Even strangers who are technically Loki's friends. He wants to argue the point further, but it's too late, Roxxy's already knocking on the door. Loki opens it, and she enters their apartment in a whirlwind of expensive perfume and air kisses.

She squeezes Thor's jaw in her fingers, says, "Look at you, you look nothing at all like your brother. Just as cute though. I don't understand genetics, but whatever deity in charge must have been in a great mood on both your birthdays."

Thor glances down at Roxxy's breasts, and then up again, a faintly guilty blush coming across his cheeks. Roxxy laughs, says, "You want to touch them, sweetie?"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Loki says. "He's fifteen."

He should just lock Thor in the bedroom until he turns eighteen.

But then he'd be legal, and there'd be no keeping anyone away.

Roxxy just waves her hand airily, and smacks Thor on the ass. "I brought wine. Go get me some glasses, Luke. Don't worry, I won't molest your brother while you're at it."

The wine helps Loki mellow some, prepares him for the company. Roxxy's great anyway, and soon enough she has settled down on the floor with her back against the coffee table, her heels off and her feet in Thor's lap, regaling him with only slightly exaggerated tales about the scene.

"So Loki's a sub," Thor says, and sounds utterly fascinated.

Roxxy shoots Loki a look as Loki bristles, sitting up straighter on the couch. "Naw, not him. He pretends, and it works because of that face of his, but I see it."

"He's a control freak," Thor mutters, faintly sour.

"I know, right?"

They share a look, which Loki heartily resents.

"Enough," Loki says. "Stop corrupting my baby brother. He doesn't need to hear about any of this." But wine's even worse for him than beer is, and he can barely remember if he's supposed to be pissed off, or uncomfortable, or what he's supposed to be protecting Thor from, exactly. Thor's had Loki's cock down his throat, so that ship has quite possibly sailed.

"Don't be mad, hey," Thor says, and he's suddenly right next to Loki, his eyes bright and cheeks flushed. "I was just kidding."

"I'm not mad."

Thor leans forward, presses their foreheads together and cups Loki's neck in between his hands.

"You guys would be super hot together, you know," Roxxy says, and it's as if she's speaking from far away, Loki can hear her but she might as well be on another universe for all Loki can respond.

"Don't," Loki says, because he wants to, and Roxxy's sitting right there. But Thor ignores him, as Loki knows he will, and his lips are warm, and perfect. Loki pulls back, and Thor takes the wine glass from him. He swallows the entire contents down, and fumbles to put it on the floor.

"Ahh," he says, as his entire face turns red.

"You're supposed to sip the wine, not gulp it down. It's not coke."

"Whatever," Thor says, and turns back to Loki. Now his lips taste like wine, and Loki exhales. He turns his gaze sideways, and he can see Roxxy, just watching them, a small smile on her face. "It's okay," Thor says, against Loki's lips, but it's a question, not an assurance, and Loki knows that they shouldn't, but Thor just keeps kissing him and his hands are everywhere and Loki can't stop, can't bring himself to stop.

He ends up sprawled half of top of Thor, thrusting aimlessly in between his legs as Thor slides his fingers under his shirt, marks his skin with his touch. Loki raises himself up, onto his elbows. "We shouldn't," he says, only slightly breathless. It's too late, Roxxy's already seen, and even if she doesn't mind, it matters.

"Please," Thor says, and he reaches for Loki's jeans, tugs on his buttons. "Please, I really want. I want to. Please."

He can't stop it, in the end. Might as well try stopping a freight train. Thor jerks him off slowly as Loki settles down on his knees, watches Thor's hand around his cock and then watches Thor watching him, and it must be the wine that turns everything hazy and gold-dark, must be how high he is that when he comes he ends up collapsing in a heap on top of Thor, allowing everything to go black.

When he wakes up Roxxy's gone. There's a polaroid on the coffee table. Loki picks it up: it's a picture of Thor and him, asleep on the couch. They could just be brothers still, maybe.

Thor says, blinking heavily, "She gone?"

"Yeah," Loki says, and hands him the polaroid.

Thor glances at it, smiles.

  

** latent image. **  
(The invisible image left by the action of light on photographic film or paper.)

Thor's on Loki's laptop when he comes home, and Loki thinks he should tell him to use his own, but then decides it's pointless. He collapses on the bed instead and says, "Don't reply to anything unless you are prepared to properly punctuate."

"I like it when you alliterate."

"And I like it when you pretend you're a dumb jock." Thor's silent for the next five minutes, but Loki can hear him typing. "I swear if I check my Tumblr and you've flooded it with reblogs of kittens -"

"Someone asked you if bottoming hurts."

"What?"

Thor turns, drapes his arm over the back of the chair expectantly.

"No," Loki says.

"Really?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On how much experience you have, how relaxed you are. The amount of lube. The size of the cock."

"The first time?"

Loki sighs, and puts his pillow over his eyes. "Kind of hurts. But you get accustomed to it. Everything that's worth it hurts."

"So a five, or a six."

"Seven or eight," Loki says.

"All right."

Loki lifts the pillow. Thor's turned back to the laptop and started typing again. "I don't need a manager, you know. I can answer my own questions."

Thor ignores him. "Someone wants to know who takes your pictures."

"Ignore that. I don't answer personal questions."

"But if bottoming hurts: that's a question you're okay with." Loki throws the pillow at Thor's head. Thor catches it, clutches it to his chest. "I also linked to your Amazon wish list. Maybe people can buy you stuff."

"I have an Amazon wish list?"

"You do now."

"Give me back my pillow," Loki says. "And get away from my laptop."

Thor turns again, leers slightly. "Make it worth my while."

"I am not negotiating with my baby brother."

Thor just pouts, prettily.

Loki decides he should have left Thor with Laufey. So much less trouble that way.

It's an opinion he stands by until the first gift arrives, an Alien Quadrilogy DVD box set.

Loki hits Thor gently on the back of his head with it. "Amazing, how my wish list happens to be filled with your favorite stuff."

"You like the movies too," Thor says. "I remember you made me watch the second one, even though I wanted to watch Spongebob."

"Yes, for the fiftieth time. I was ready to kill myself if I had to hear that theme song again." Thor spent the entire first half of the movie with his face buried in Loki's chest, unaware of Laufey's growing discontent.

He only stopped when Loki leaned down and whispered into his ear, "It's just a movie. Movies aren't real, they can't hurt you."

Thor believed him. He always did, even though Loki told more lies than truth.

They watch the entire series over the weekend on Loki's laptop, sharing bowls of popcorn and nachos.

Thor says, at one point. "You should get a flat screen or something. This is pants."

"I can't afford a flat screen."

"I'll put it on your wish list."

"Oh, I can't wait to see what I'll have to do for that."

Thor grins, and throws a handful of popcorn at Loki. "I'll buy you one for a blowjob."

"Monopoly money doesn't count, loser."

Thor throws another handful.

Loki snatches the bowl away from him, grabs and pins him down onto the couch. "Someday," he says, and means it, "we won't need to do any of this. I'll be able to buy the whole goddamned world."

"I know," Thor says.

-

Loki doesn't argue with Thor the next time he insists on coming along for a shoot, just rolls his eyes and decides he will choose his battles for when it matters.

"So, isn't this more Roxxy's thing," Thor asks. They're in a room with racks of clothes, and Loki is picking through outfits. He gets to choose, so that's always nice: it's important to keep up a consistent image.

"No, that's a different thing," Loki says. "Just keep quiet and let me search."

Thor picks up a cowboy hat and puts it on his head.

"What do you think?"

"No." Thor ignores him.

Loki drags out a sequined miniskirt in red and black, poses with it in front of a mirror.

Behind him, Thor makes a face. "You should wear more green. I like the way it makes your eyes look."

"Nothing wrong with red," Loki says, but he puts the skirt away.

"How about this?" Thor holds up a gray, pleated little skirt. Loki has to admit it's not so bad.

"Could work," he says.

Thor tosses it to him, turns contemplative as he picks up a green round-necked sweater.

Loki shakes his head. "It needs to come off easily. Something that opens."

"Ah." Thor waves at him. "Allright, you find a white button up blouse. I'll find you a sweater."

They cut it close to the bone, Thor takes ages to find a sweater that he likes and that Loki will agree to wear. It's a green v-necked cardigan, accented in gold. Cute, oversized pockets. Thigh high black cotton socks and his own boots and now Thor's staring at him, wide-eyed and dazed looking.

"Stop it, I'm not your doll."

In response, Thor takes his phone out and snaps a picture. He inches closer, says, "Don't you need someone to get you up before the shoot?" Thor slides his hand up under Loki's skirt, between his legs.

Loki slaps his hand away, but tugs him back for a kiss. He smears all of his carefully applied lip gloss over Thor's mouth, but he doesn't care, especially not when Thor falls to his knees. Thor's been practising how to suck cock, specifically Loki's cock, and getting better by the day. Loki wants to tell him: it doesn't matter, it's you, I will take anything, anything at all.

"Wait," Loki says, his voice strangled.

"Why?"

"No, I'm already hard. I need to keep it."

"Oh," Thor says. He pushes the skirt up slightly, gives the inside of Loki's thigh a chaste kiss. "All right, I'll wait."

The scene goes well. The other guy's cool, Loki has a good time, and he only allows Thor's presence to distract him once or twice.

Thor's all over him after the shoot. His hand on Loki's neck, on his wrist, touching his shoulder. The guy he partnered up with - Loki thinks his real name is Anderson - says, "Your boyfriend wants to take you home and reclaim you."

"He's not my boyfriend," Loki says, loud enough for Thor to hear.

Thor shows no indication of caring at all.

Back home, all Loki wants to do is pass out as usual, but Thor's all nervous energy and hopefulness, and finally Loki just collapses on the bed and goes, "Just do whatever, I'll sleep."

Thor straddles him and starts to jerk off, and Loki says, "Not on my clothes, come on." He drags his t-shirt off and tosses it at Thor's face, stretches out. Thor doesn't weigh that much still, and his warmth is comforting. Loki starts drifting away, and only returns when a kiss lands on his mouth, hot and demanding, after some indefinite amount of time has passed. "Did you come?"

"Not yet."

Loki yawns. "Okay, I'll go back to sleep now."

"I'm almost there. Stay awake."

"Okay." But he doesn't, is barely aware when hot wetness splatters against his chest, and Thor calls his name.

-

In the morning, Thor is curled up next to him, head on Loki's chest and arms around his waist. He stirs when Loki moves, raises his head. "Hey," he says.

"Hey yourself." Loki trails his fingers up the veins in Thor's forearm, starts, conversationally, "I hated you when Mom first brought you back from the hospital, did you know that?" He had possibly tried to set fire to his baby brother once or twice, before Laufey taught him that it just Wasn't Done.

"You used to leave me alone in stores when you were supposed to be watching out for me." Thor's forehead furrows.

"But you would always find me somehow. It's as if you had some kind of radar or something."

Except that one time, when Thor didn't actually come running after him, snot nosed and crying. Loki found him purely by luck, on a bench with some dark haired girl, holding hands.

"Sif," Loki says, startled by the memory. "How is she?"

"She's all right. Still hates you."

"You never even made out with her?"

"No, it wasn't like that. You ever had sex with a girl?"

"Once or twice."

"A shoot?"

"No."

"Amora?" Thor sounds displeased.

"Yeah, but not just her. I'm in college, hey." He did it because it was what you did, and because they offered. Loki can't imagine wanting someone bad enough to pursue them. Except for maybe Thor, but it's Thor. Everybody wants him, it's just the way it is.

Thor drops his head back down onto Loki's chest, his gaze cast downwards. "Do you still hate me?"

"You're still a brat, so."

"You always say I'm stupid," Thor says.

"Because you are."

"Dad used to say that too." He's still not looking at Loki, and his voice is like a bruise. "He'd say you got all the brains in the family, and I got Mom's looks and lack of personality."

"He's wrong," Loki says. "Mom was beautiful. You have the face of a dog. You just got her temper, that's all. I - I miss her, sometimes."

Thor raises himself up onto his elbows, smiles down at Loki. "Me too. But not as much as I missed you."

"Funny. I didn't miss you at all."

"Liar," Thor says, and he sound smug, and entirely certain.

"Whatever." Loki shakes his head, shoves at Thor. "Go on, get up. We can't just lie in bed all day. Some of us have lives."

Thor only laughs, and collapses down on top of Loki, paws at him until he admits that yeah okay maybe they can in fact do nothing all day but lie together and make out.

"Don't leave me again," Thor says, once Loki's stopped struggling. "Promise me."

"I -" Loki starts. "I don't want to lie to you."

"Then don't. Just say it."

Loki twines their fingers together, kisses Thor's forehead. "We'll see," he says.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the **pictures** square.
> 
> With thanks and apologies to [this glossary](http://www.mir.com.my/rb/photography/glossary/terms_a.htm) of photographic terms.


End file.
